They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
