she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Alive.
So much puke
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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