haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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