WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
