Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
