Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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