Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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