those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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