I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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