I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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