I'm drive I can fine osifer
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
