He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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