Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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