she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
