Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
