note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
