i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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