I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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