I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
