I smell stomach acid.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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