My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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