we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a shit load of segways right now
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize