Too much gin, very little bucket
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
