Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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