My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
