So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
