I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
