3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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