Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
