maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
