wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
