it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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