Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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