doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
nutella sex= disaster
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
