I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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