I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
