Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
