i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
