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if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i love accidental penises.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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