But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize