wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
