Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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