I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
