Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
