On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
