girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize