I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
