No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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