You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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