There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When are your genitals available?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
