So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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