im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
