pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Randomize
