I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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