rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
