Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have fence marks all over my body
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
